On Your Path to Success
BY: CHÉRIE CARTER-SCOTT, PH.D., MCC
Most of us have faced a situation in our lives, a fork in the road, where we have a decision to make. We likely know the answer that’s right for us, but we seek counsel from a friend, loved one, or coach because personally, we’ve hit a roadblock.
Everyone is “coachable” and able to obtain success if they are ready, willing, and open to accept change in their life. However, there are eight roadblocks to success that even the most brilliant coach cannot break through if the coachee is not confident, disciplined, and in alignment with themselves.
So let’s break them down…
1. You believe your excuses.
Some of us can be our own worst enemy when it comes to obtaining success. Perhaps you want to go back to college, but you look at the date, and it’s past the deadline for the financial aid application, you haven’t really applied to any, you haven’t taken a class in years, you are probably too old, and chances are, you’re not smart enough for the program you are interested in anyway. Sound familiar? When you start believing your own excuses, you set up a roadblock along your pathway to success.
2. Fear prevents you from getting what you want.
Being fearful of something is normal. When you are given a difficult task, at first you are very excited, but then anxiety creeps in. Doubting yourself and your abilities makes you start to believe your negaholic voice; this causes you to give up on the difficult task you’ve been given.
3. Patterns of behavior are stronger than your goals.
When trying to begin a new era of your life, you may begin to feel overwhelmed with the twenty-four/seven demands that are pulling you in every which direction. You may start to feel anxious about what the outcome could end up being and begin to lose sight of what you are trying to achieve. This may cause you to fall back into old habits, preventing you from finishing what you set out to accomplish.
4. You aren’t able to be objective.
Remaining objective when considering a difficult choice or decision, is critical. If you lose the ability to see things neutrally, without bias or judgment, then you will become defensive, resistant, and uncoachable.
5. You aren’t accountable to yourself.
At the end of the day, your success or lack or, benefits or hinders you the most. If you choose to lose fifteen pounds, and then eat nothing but doughnuts, the only person you can be upset with is yourself. Being accountable to your self is critical for obtaining success. If you aren’t willing to be accountable to yourself, who are you willing to be accountable to?
6. You won’t stick to your commitment.
Sticking to your commitment is slightly different than being accountable to yourself. Commitments are to other people and tasks that you accepted and agreed to. If you are unwilling to commit to a relationship, then getting married wouldn’t be a great idea. If you can’t stick to watering a plant and maintaining it, having a pet or children may not be your forte.
7. You can’t manage your sub-personalities.
All of us have a variety of facets to our personality. Some facets act as the responsible parent, a playful child, maybe another still is a rebellious teenager, or a free artistic spirit. These different aspects of your personality are called sub-personalities. In most situations, sub-personalities do not hinder our day to day lives, however, there are times when sub-personalities split, and coaching is required to determine which personalities are best suited for the coachee.
8. You don’t truly believe in yourself.
One of the roles a coach has is to believe in you more than you believe in yourself, especially when you doubt yourself. Believing in yourself means that you have an unswerving trust and confidence in you, so when circumstances become difficult, you stand firm and back your choice absolutely. Belief in yourself is something that you either have or you don’t. If you don’t have it, it can be developed over time, but it doesn’t happen over night. It is a process and will take time, but with coaching, and perseverance, you can remove the roadblocks on your pathway to success.