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ICF Coach Training Budapest | ASTCH Program Fall 2015

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Judit sponsors a program titled Coaching Without Boarders which imports coaches from around the world to inspire, educate, and empower Hungarian coaches. Judit is well respected in the coaching community for her knowledge and experience in ICF, the community in Budapest, coaching and training coaches in Hungary and Poland. Judit is a leader and an ambassador for coaching. Juidt and Dr. Cherie will co-lead an ICF ACSTH program in Budapest that starts on October 14, 2015.
To obtain more information to register for this, please contact
Judit Abri at: abri.judit@executivecoach.co.hu
There are only a few spaces left!

ICF Coach Training Budapest

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Our newest Licensee is Manon Swaving in Singapore!

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Manon Swaving, PCC is now licensed to promote, produce, and present MMS Coach Trainings in Southeast Asia. Manon has been working as a coach, facilitator and co-leader of The MMS Worldwide Institute, BV programs in The Netherlands since 2012. She is married to Roger Swaving, also an MMS coach. Together with their two children, Daan, and Liza they will be moving to Singapore November 1st. Roger works for Aberkyn Change Leadership Partners with McKinsey designing and facilitating culture transformation and leadership development programs. We are proud that Manon joins our esteemed group of licensees.

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ICF Coach Training Program in Vietnam

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Life Coaching Vietnam has partnered with Motivation Management Service Worldwide Institute to bring top notch coach training to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.

The ICF accredited coach training program has just completed it’s maiden voyage and has scheduled it’s second round of coach training February 27, 2016.

Sixteen graduates completed the life coach training on August 30, 2015. They are now on their way pursuing ICF, ACC credentials. The next step will be practice. We look forward to hearing from them about their journeys and experiences.

For more information on Coach Training in Vietnam, send me a message. Contact information can be found on my contact page.

Press Release: ICF Coach Training Program in HCMC, Vietnam

Local startup Life Coaching Vietnam partnered with original coach training organization, The MMS Worldwide Institute. The MMSWI has a 40+ year history of training professionals. Together they hosted an International Coach Federation (ICF) approved coach specific training hours (ACSTH) program in HCMC for 16 working professionals, July 2 – August 30, 2015. [Read More…]

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3 Coaching Essentials Employers and Managers Need to Know

3 Coaching Essentials Employers and Managers Need to Know

By: Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

If you haven’t yet introduced Coaching into your work environment, now’s the time! Coaching is an ongoing process to ensure that your employees’ potential is realized and even exceeded. Through this process, managers support, encourage and direct their people so they can reach their highest potential.

To be a successful coach follow these three steps:

1. Create an agreement.
Make sure both coach and employee understand their roles, responsibilities, expectations, and the length of their relationship. Whether it’s a written or a verbal agreement, it needs to be clear. While individual employees are usually assigned coaches, in team situations members should probably select a coach they all respect and one they feel will help them. The team should also agree on the style and method of coaching as well as when and how often coaching sessions will take place. Ideally, a coach should be identified as soon as possible after a team is formed.

2. Establish clear goals.
In order to coach anyone or any team to pursue excellence, you must first set goals. These should be reasonable, realistic and attainable within the established timeframe. All people involved – coach and employee or coach and team members – need to agree on the goals. When discussing them, be sure to address these concerns:

– Are the goals reasonable and realistic?
– Are the goals attainable?
– Can all timeframes be met?
– Is there enough motivation to meet the goals?
– Is there enough support to meet the goals?
– Are there adequate resources to meet the goals?
3. Set up sessions.

Coaching requires lots of time and effort. As a coach, you need to set aside blocks of time to meet with an employee or a team about any of the following topics:

– Status reports – how everything’s going and how everyone’s doing
– Achieving goals
– Missing goals
– Re-evaluating goals
– Resetting timeframes for goals
– Strategizing solutions

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Time Management

Time management is not something you are born with. I used to be a terrible time manager and I have learned to be extremely effective time manager. Before we address effective Time Management, let’s
address the most common time gobblers.

They are:
1. Lack of planning or prioritizing
2. Telephone interruptions
3. Disorganization or cluttered desk
4. Procrastination
5. Drop-in visitors
6. Lack of self-discipline
7. Ineffective delegation
8. Unrealistic expectations
9. Inability to say, “No”
10. Leaving tasks incomplete

Some people resist planning because they want to use their free time to relax; they want to go with the flow, being spontaneous, avoiding structure, and believing that they know everything they have to do because it is stored in their head. Here are some tips:

1. Plan your day the night before
2. Take time to plan your time
3. Schedule appointments with yourself
4. Evaluate your effectiveness at the end of each day
5. Breakdown large projects into small tasks
6. Use small pockets of time to your advantage
7. Take small projects to do while you wait
8. Implement weekly, monthly, quarterly changes

If you allow for telephone interruptions, here are some solutions…
1. Ask someone else to answer the phone
2. Screen your calls with caller ID
3. request that people e-mail you instead
4. Determine what you will and won’t address
5. Take only calls that relate to your To Do List
6. Allow for emergencies, don’t plan on them!

If you have a disorganized or a cluttered desk here are some solutions…
1. Eliminate piles
2. Make your own policy about incomplete projects
3. validate yourself every time you throw something out
4. set aside time to organize and purge
5. Encourage filing regularly
6. validate each time you exhibit the new desirable behaviors
7. Before you leave the office each day, clean your desk

Procrastination is one of the most common time gobblers. Here are some solutions…
1. Always start with something easy
2. Do what you’re avoiding first
3. Eliminate all distractions
4. Just do it!
5. Set reasonable short-term objectives
6. Promise a reward when the project is done
7. Set a deadline date and stick to it
8. Stop reinforcing the behavior you want to change
9. Start reinforcing the behavior you want to ingrain

Do you allow visitors to dictate your day? Here are some helpful solutions…
1. Create clear boundaries
2. Give people an alternative time that works to talk to you
3. Place a high value on your time
4. Risk disapproval
5. Sequester yourself
6. Be ruthless with your own satisfaction

Do you have a lack of self-discipline? Here are some solutions…
1. Hold yourself accountable
2. Provide rewards or consequences
3. Give pats on the back to reinforce behaviors
4. Build your self esteem

Try these effective delegation techniques. Here are some solutions…
1. Select jobs to be delegated
2. Organize the information
3. Select the right person for the job
4. communicate with clarity
5. Provide full disclosure
6. set expectations
7. invite feedback
8. monitor and follow up
9. Encourage, guide, direct, and provide feedback

Do you set unrealistic expectations?

Tell yourself the whole TRUTH. Then you need to build in a cushion on top of that truth. Your issue is that you imagine the best and don’t anticipate the “stuff” that happens, like traffic, accidents, other people being late or missing deadlines. If you imagine that you live in a perfect world think again… Always anticipate what could go wrong and then factor in that possibility. If it doesn’t happen you’re ahead of the game!

Try these realistic expectations…
1. Only list what you CAN get done
2. Accurately assess the time factor in traffic, parking, etc.
3. Create a buffer zone for the unanticipated
4. Take charge of things working out to your advantage

Do you have trouble saying “No?”
Do you have one specific person who always asks you to do something for them, and they say, “Oh it will just take a few minutes…” and you believe them AGAIN and AGAIN!
Here are some solutions:
1. Start getting what you want
2. Create boundaries
3. Get your projects and tasks accomplished
4. Manage your satisfaction
5. Reinforce your self esteem

Do you start and have trouble completing tasks? Here are some solutions…
1. Make a completion policy with yourself
2. Reinforce your self-confidence
3. Validate your self-worth regularly
4. Build your credibility with others
5. Become ruthless with yourself

If you follow the steps, you will get the results
Old patterns will need to be broken to ensure success.
Do one thing differently, and then reward yourself. Remember, 21 repetitions will change an old habit
into a new behavior pattern. Start today.

If you want to provide your employees with an online outstanding Time Management program go to: www.mmsvt.com and subscribe.

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Recognizing Opportunities

Excerpted from: If Success Is a Game, These are the Rules,

And written by: Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D.

There are two kinds of opportunities in life: the glaring obvious ones and the hidden ones. The obvious ones are things like the promotion for the job you have been seeking, a marriage proposal from the person you love and want to spend your life with, or an apartment offered in the city where you have always dreamed of living. There are obvious opportunities that you can’t miss, because they are delivered to you in neon lights.

The second type of opportunity is not obvious and requires that you look beneath the surface. These are the ones you need to root around a bit to find. For instance, when your company merges with another and new positions are available. Perhaps you hear in passing that a business you are interested in is opening a branch office in a city close to your home. A friend invites you to go whitewater rafting on a river you have never seen. These opportunities require a little more exploration and excavation. These are the ones that make you say “Hmm. Maybe…”

The universe is constantly in flux. Change is a constant. Changes can occur in your private life or far away on the front page of the newspaper. With every change that occurs around you, an opportunity is presented. Usually it is buried beneath the surface, but if you are willing, you can excavate it.

Dave worked as an editor at a feature magazine. He liked what he did but wished he had more time to pursue his primary love, which was writing. One afternoon his boss called him into his office and handed him a story about a local true crime case with some fascinating twists and turns and asked him to research it. Dave took the story back to his desk and was immediately engrossed. As he worked on the story, he kept getting a needling feeling that this was a doorway to some sort of opportunity for him.

Dave didn’t sleep a wink that night. He tossed and turned as he wrestled with his thoughts. In the morning, as he was brushing his teeth, the message came through to him loud and clear: He wanted to contact the people involved in the story and write a book about it. It was an incredible tale, and he knew he could do an excellent job with a book. He knew he had the talent to do this, and since he kept up with true-crime books, he was fairly certain that it would be a marketable project.

Dave went to his boss the next day and told him of his plans. His boss supported the decision, although it would mean Dave would have to take an unpaid leave of absence. Within three months, Dave found a publisher for the book and is not spending all his time doing what he loves to do: writing.

This was one of those opportunities that did not come delivered on a silver platter. No one said to Dave, “Would you like to write a book about this story?” nor did anyone hold up a sign that said, “You should write a book about this.” It took a willingness on Dave’s part to peer beneath the surface of his everyday life and find an opportunity amid the daily events.

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The Anatomy of Choice and Decision

Excerpted from: Transformational Life Coaching, and written by: Cherie Carter‐Scott, Ph.D. and Lynn U. Stewart

The definition of choice is “to select freely from a series of alternatives that which you want.” A decision, on the other hand, is “a conclusion or a determination about something that is based on rational, logical, and reasonable facts and information.” Choices are intuitive, are driven by preferences, are satisfying to the self, feel right, and can stretch you outside your comfort zone. Decisions are rational, are driven by expectations, appease others, are often justified with reasons and explanations, and don’t necessarily require a stretch.

When we compare decisions and choices, we see that a decision is rational, where a choice is intuitive. A decision is logical and reasonable, while a choice feels right on a gut level. A decision can be explained by reasons, where a choice is based on personal preference. A decision is driven by external expectations, where a choice is driven by intrinsic proclivity. A decision appeases others, where a choice is satisfying to the self. A decision is comfortable, while a choice can be uncomfortable.

Conditions for making a choice are: There is either a statement of dissatisfaction with the status quo, or there is an expression of desire for something different from what currently exists. The person examines what he or she feels about the situation, explores what he or she ideally wants. The various options are reviewed, preferences are articulated, and the person selects the most desirable option. Finally, the person commits to his or her choice. Choices are intrinsically initiated and are all about making changes. When this progression is followed, the person making the choice experiences satisfaction and fulfillment.

The conditions for making a decision look like this: There is a situation that requires resolution. The person examines his or her expectations and the ramifications and consequences of each option. A decision is made based on those criteria or the “shoulds.” The outcome often results in reservations rather than a clear commitment, and the person deciding may end up feeling less than satisfied with the outcome.

Research has demonstrated that following one’s preferences leads to more long‐range and fulfilling outcomes. People who tend to operate cognitively are usually more comfortable making decisions. People who operate affectively (from their emotions) are more comfortable making choices. Both types of people are capable of making both decisions and choices; however, many people hesitate to make either one. The question that most coaches must face is why people are indecisive.

If you like what you’ve read and would like to read more, visit www.drcherie.com/books.php to purchase a copy of Transformational Life Coaching today!

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The Power of Wanting

Excerpted from: If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules,

and written by: Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D.

When you want something – really want it – there is an internal hit that goes off inside you that responds “yes.” That impulse is as strong when you are five years old reaching for a toy as it is when you are fifty reaching for your dream home. The energy that is unleashed in that moment of desire creates one of the most powerful and magnetic forces in the universe.

When I was 21 years old, my then-husband and I knew we wanted to backpack around the Hawaiian Islands after graduation. We both deeply wanted to take this trip, to explore the raw and astonishing wonders of Hawaii that no tour bus could ever reach. We wanted to give ourselves the chance to live off only that which we could carry on our backs, to connect with the greater world of nature. Real life was upon us, and we wanted to pause and take a moment to have an experience like this before turning our attention to careers and the business of building a life.

I wanted this adventure so much that I would have done almost anything to make it happen. Despite limited funds and the disdain and protests of some family members, Bill and I strapped on our backpacks and went. The three months we spent exploring hidden caves, meeting indigenous people and learning about the ancient customs, eating fruit we picked with our own hands, and swimming in secluded grottos remains one of my most precious memories. The success of making that trip a reality was among the sweetest I have ever known, I doubt, however, that it would have happened if we had operated from a sense of “it would be nice to backpack in the Hawaiian Islands, wouldn’t it?”

Think of a moment, sometime in your life that you knew with every fiber of your being that you wanted something. It could be a particular trip, or a specific relationship, or even a piece of your grandmother’s famous cheesecake. Would you have moved the heavens to attain your wish?

Wanting is a deep desire that emanates from within you. It defies reason, logic, and rational thought. An undeniable feeling, yearning for something special emerges as a flash of how things might be. Fleeting albeit, the feeling is clearly undeniable. Whether the impulse is to redecorate your bathroom, take a trip, or close a deal, “wants” are moments of inner truth. They are the secrets of the soul.

Wants whisper without license. Out of a hidden place, a want will blurt the dare-not-say secret tucked away from view. Flashes of desire might create adverse effects because a “want” will push you to risk. Wants ask you to move out of your comfort zone and do something different. A ticket to a new adventure, wants are sure to bring both challenge and change.

Want vs. Need

My friend Adrienne once remarked how much she liked a particular pen I own. It is a special ergonomically designed pen that makes writing by hand more comfortable, and it’s therefore slightly more expensive than ordinary ones. When I suggested to Adrienne that she get one of these pens, since she, as a journalist, often writes by hand, she recoiled and said, “but I don’t need it.”

“Yes,” I said, “but do you want it? I know you don’t need it, but I asked about wanting. What happens to your wants?”

Adrienne had no response other than the one she had been programmed to give her entire life: if she doesn’t need something, then she can’t have it. Her “wants” are disqualified as extraneous, unnecessary and superfluous.

Many people, like Adrienne, operate from a place of need. Getting their needs as opposed to their wants met is drilled into their psyches from a very early age. Somewhere along the line, they received the subtle but corrosive message that wanting is selfish, unnecessary, indulgent and frivolous. As a result, they come to believe that they should only fill their lives with those things that they need. Because “wants” to them, are extraneous luxuries that they somehow came to believe they did not deserve, they feel intense guilt whenever they allow themselves to fulfill their desires. As a result, when they do experience feelings of desire, in order to avoid the guilt feelings, they either deprive themselves, or convince themselves that they actually need what they want. They rationalize their want and turn it into a need in order to justify getting it.

The basic difference between a want and a need is that needs come from a place of insufficiency, whereas wants come from a place of sufficiency. When we need something there is a distinct absence. When we want something, we reach for something to augment or complement what we already have. Needs, of course, must be met for basic survival. But wants, also, must be met when appropriate for the sake of your happiness.

When you know what you want, and you give yourself permission to have it thereby fulfilling your desire, there is a release of delight and power that validates you as a person. This validation nourishes your self-trust, your self-confidence, your intuition, your basic belief in yourself. This reinforcement affirms your identity, your inner knowing and your reality. Each time this cycle occurs, it strengthens your authentic self.

This does not mean that you have free license to behave in unethical, immoral or illegal ways simply because you “want” something. It doesn’t mean that your desires can operate freely without any checks, balances or consequences. It does mean that within the parameters of the legal system, the cultural mores and intending to do the right thing, honoring your true wants will reinforce your belief in yourself. Assuming your desires are not harmful to yourself or anyone else, and that they are aligned with good intention, there is no reason why you should have to deny yourself the feeling of wanting something. Nor should you deny yourself the opportunity to go out there and succeed in getting it.

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Challenging Mediocrity

Excerpted from: If Success Is a Game, These are the Rules,

And written by: Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D.

There is a point of view that claims “Life is not a bowl of cherries” and, as the classic Rolling Stones song says, “you can’t always get what you want.” It is a whole paradigm that people buy into as a way to accept mediocrity in their lives and rationalize not striving for more.

That paradigm is in direct opposition to three basic assumptions I Have about people and their ability to succeed:

1. People have their own answers within themselves regarding what will make them happy.

2. They possess the personal power to cause those inner answers to become reality.

3. Anyone can have life be the way they want it.

These three assumptions, when held up against the negative paradigm, can feel either empowering or intimidating, depending on what you believe you deserve and which set of assumptions you operate from.

Whichever basis you come from affects the filter through which you perceive reality. If you subscribe to the negative, that is what you’ll get. Argue for your limitations and eventually they will win. If you subscribe to the positive assumptions, however, you have a far greater capacity to catapult yourself higher toward your natural place up in the stars.

You can deem yourself successful whether you get the bowl of cherries or convince yourself you are content with just the pits. The real question, however, is: Will you be fulfilled by a bowl of pits?

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When “I” Becomes “We”

Moving from “I” to “we” requires a shift in perspective and energy. Being an authentic couple is an evolution. People rarely consider what is required to include another person in your overall life.

Love songs tell us that love is woven by the fingers of destiny. From poetry we learn that love is an ever‑elusive intangible that wafts in like a wisp of smoke and disappears just as capriciously. Friends may tell us that finding love is all about timing, yet billboards imply that the secret to finding everlasting love is driving a sexy car, wearing the right jeans, or having pearly‑white teeth, fresh breath, and great‑smelling hair. It can be quite confusing. Yet the real secret to finding authentic love lies not in your medicine cabinet, nor in the hands of fate or time. It resides in your own consciousness.

Before you proceed down the road of choosing to partner or not, it helps first to understand exactly what a true partnership is. A partnership is a union between two entities. Partnerships of any kind are formed when both people believe that greater benefit lies in uniting energies, talents, and resources than in remaining separate.

In the love arena, partnerships occur when two people come together to create a new reality. As both people move toward each other and connect in the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual realms, they begin to move from separate “I” realities into a combined “we” reality, in which both “I’s” contribute to the greater “we.” Neither “I” is obliterated; both are simply augmented and enhanced by the chemical fusion with the other. Becoming a “we” reality means that you form a team whose intent is to travel through life together as a united force.

There are pros and cons to partnering. It can cause both positive and negative changes in your life and requires that you find ways to balance these polarities. The positive side is, of course, the hearts and flowers that you see in the movies and read about in romance novels. It is the wonderful rush of adrenaline that falling in love brings, the giddy feeling of being adored, the butterflies that flutter in your stomach when you hear your beloved’s voice, and the warm rush of security you feel when he or she smiles at you from across a crowded room.

For most people, the main advantage is that you will no longer be alone, since you will have someone with whom you can spend your time and share the journey of life. Having a partner comes with some wonderful benefits: you have someone to love you, to give you attention, to take care of you, to act as your companion, to fulfill your sexual needs and desires, to do things with you, and to generally make life more fun. Partnering can provide support when you need it, encouragement when you are fearful, and empowerment when you have lost your belief in yourself. At its most elevated, a partnership can be a sacred bond in which you can share your inner most secrets, admit your weaknesses, grow in new and astonishing ways, and weave together your hopes and dreams.

The downside of partnering is the mirror opposite of its main benefit: You will no longer be alone. If you are no longer alone, that means you are also no longer on your own. You are no longer a stand‑alone entity. You will need to deal with differences between you and your partner‑‑in style, pace, modes of communicating, habits, and preferences. You have to deal with everyday life issues that accompany another person. Your partner, after all, has ideas, feelings, aspirations, habits, quirks, and issues that need to be given the same respect as you give your own.
In other words, you need to make room in your life for another human being. When making choices and decisions, you will have to consider another person; you cannot just do whatever you want whenever you want without considering the other person’s wishes. You will need to confer on everything from how much room you take up in the bed to how to spend your money. You must be willing to make adjustments so that both you and your partner can be happy.

What is your immediate response when I say “Finding love is up to you”? Do you believe you have the power within yourself to attract and find the kind of love you want? If you do, then by all means skip this rule and go on to Rule Three. If, however, any part of you thinks that finding love is not within your personal control or power, then you might want to read on a bit more.

Love does not “just happen.” It needs to be created in much the same way you would create anything else. Let’s imagine you wanted to make a meal. You might begin by thinking about what it is that you want to eat. Then you would assess how much time you have and what you could make within that period of time, decide what to make, take steps to secure the ingredients, follow the recipe, and then eat.

You wouldn’t just sit in your kitchen wishing a meal would somehow magically appear. The process is not so different when it comes to love; love is also created from your imagination, intention, and deployment. Many mistakenly have thought that just wanting love is the same as seeking love.