I’m not sure that you will remember me directly, but your sister, as I called her in my childhood, Lynnie, certainly will. We spent many summer evenings on horseback, childhood memories that are perhaps my most favorite.
The reason I am writing to you is that I began reading your book, Transformational Life Coaching because it was loaned to me so that I might “have a gander” at what the field involves. I have been working with a coach for a year, and it has been the most powerful experience in my life, one I find myself never wanting to let go of. A lifetime of therapy and holistic modalities cannot compare to the power of a trusting and loving coaching relationship, and I know this, because I have done an uncanny amount in my life already, but now I am finally clear about who I am in this world. Your book is bringing me to a point where I have only dreamed I could go with myself.
As I read very slowly through the chapters of your book, the inner experiences I am having are so powerful at times, I need a few days to go into my own life and clean things up. Yesterday I said goodbye to someone I love, with whom circumstances were a threat to my authenticity. It was hard, but I realized that the pain would go away, but making the right choice would be everlasting. This was enormous for the girl who always stays too long. Apparently I am no longer that girl. Ditto on the very deep heartache I have had over both Valentines’ Day and New Years’ Eve since I can remember. Just the other day, on Valentines’ Day, I was agonizing, as usual, but reading the middle and end of chapter four, when all of a sudden I realized why I have so much pain around those two holidays. I became enraged (abusive mother stuff) and let it out in the shower, thus expelling something so horrible yet invisible, it has caused me tears on two holidays every year, a total of 86 times! I look forward to experiencing those two holidays in the future, looking at them with both feet planted gently yet firmly on the ground. Even if it still hurts a little, I have the tools now to bring myself into the present and see it all with clarity: detach.
In NYC and LA for the past 25 years I have been an artist, a Hollywood photographer, an upper management suit-wearer, a speech writer, a star maker, 9/11 documentarian, restaurant person of various levels of employ including management, a Kundalini yogi, a Reiki practioner, someone who can’t stand other practioners when they act like hippy dippies, a giver, a lover, and a Wounded Healer. Some was Hell. Much was amazing. And now, settled back in the Roaring Fork Valley, I had dedicated this winter to figuring out which of my talents to hone, keeping all the balls in the air. Then I became an Ambassador at the mountain and wrecked my knee on day one, on a tour with tourists in tow. I find it interesting that in yoga we say that the knee relates to moving forward in life, and also that breaks of all kinds (objects, body) are the breaking of karma. For two months I have had not much more than doctors’ appointments and ice machines to be responsible for, and as a result… I have seen the point where it all merges together for me now. I asked for clarity, not a ligament replacement, but in whatever form it came, it has come.
I want nothing more than to become certified as a Transformational Life Coach and establish a small practice here. When I say the words out loud, I begin to tremble inside. When I tell others, more often than not, tears well up, because I have been doing and doing and moving and searching and running and hiding and hyper-acheiving and pushing boulders uphill… and now I can see so clearly what my life can look like so very, very soon. I see how all the bumps and bruises, abuse and triumph, success and creative abortions, jobs, careers, dreams both realized and destroyed…. all of it has made me ripe.
I have looked at coaching schools and read their websites and all of it is, of course, informative. I was looking today, and the questions I found myself looking to answer were: “Where would I stay in Ohio for those months?” or “This one doesn’t seem to have that much of a spiritual vibration to me…” So I thought I would just come to you, the person whose words are transforming me at an immeasurable velocity…
I am asking you, to be quite direct: Now what? Logistics are my question. I’m so NOT blocked about my desire! What do I need to get from where I am today, to where I have told you I want to go (with the name plate on the door)?
I may have bored you to tears, or perhaps you can feel the power of my yearning, a deep sense of gratitude, and how your work is moving me at religious proportions…. but thank you for what you have created, and for who you are in the world.
You can be assured that there is a reader whose life will never go back to being sad, frightful, or meaningless, and your work is the mortar.